COMICS

Bad With Directions

Panel 1: A family is holding a press conference, pleading for the return of their kidnapped daughter, Stephanie. The father is speaking; “We’re begging you - help bring our sweet Stephanie home safely!” Panel 2: The father is driving a card; exterior shot of the car. On the back windshield is visible a decal of a family of four. Caption: Later that day. Rrrrrring! “Hello? Stephanie!?” Panel 3: Close up on ‘bad guy’ in a face mask and gloves. “If you ever want to see her again, follow my directions exactly. Go down Route 16 North until you get to McDougal Orchard. Turn left. Go six tenths of a mile. At the third intersection, turn right. Drive until you pass a gas station. Turn down the dirt road on the right. Follow the road until you see a barn. Get out. Walk fifty paces southwest. Drop the money in the second garbage bin. You have twenty minutes. Panel 4: Close up on the father driving, with a shocked expression, as the kidnapper abruptly hangs up. Panel 5: The father is at the back of the car; he is scraping away the decal of his daughter with a razor blade. “He could have dropped a pin…

I had the inspiration for this while watching “Mare of Easttown”; there’s a scene in which someone gives really complicated directions to someone else, though the recipient is able to follow them with no problems. Every time I’m ever given verbal directions, I instantly forget them and get lost. Hopefully I’ll never be put in that position…

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